Trans Man & Passionate Refugee Advocate: The Story of Thomars Shamuyarira

Thomars Shamuyarira is proudly out trans man from Harare, Zimbabwe. Despite enduring immense adversity—including being disowned by his family and forced to flee his home country due to his LGBTQI+ identity—Thomars has emerged as a leading advocate for LGBTQI+ refugees in South Africa.

As the founder of The Fruit Basket, an organisation committed to supporting LGBTQI+ refugees, migrants, and asylum seekers, Thomars has become a beacon of hope for many displaced individuals. His advocacy takes place within the context of a dysfunctional and dehumanising asylum system in South Africa, which, instead of providing refuge to LGBTQI+ individuals fleeing persecution across Africa, often subjects them to further discrimination and bureaucratic hurdles when seeking legal status.

Beyond advocacy, The Fruit Basket offers direct support to help restore dignity to this marginalised community through skills development programs, relief services, and the operation of two safe houses for LGBTQI+ refugees in Johannesburg.

In an interview with MambaOnline, Thomars shared his personal journey of self-discovery, the obstacles he’s overcome, and his vital work in uplifting LGBTQI+ refugees. His story is one of resilience, courage, and unwavering commitment to the well-being of the most marginalised.

What was it like growing up in Zimbabwe?

I had a good childhood and upbringing. However, things became difficult when I turned 13. At the time, I was struggling with my newfound independence and feelings for girls that I didn’t fully understand. It was overwhelming for me at that young age. My grades dropped, and I never quite managed to get back on track after that.

When did you realise that you might be “different” in some way?

When I reached puberty, but I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. Conversations about sexuality or gender identity were completely absent from my environment, and even if I had wanted to discuss it, I didn’t have the language to do so at that time. The only time I ever heard anything related to “hungochani” (homosexuality) was when people made fun of the late former Vice President, Canaan Banana, who was rumored to be gay. The discussions were always derogatory, and never in detail—just rude, dismissive remarks.

I had deep feelings for my best friend in high school—feelings that went beyond friendship. I wanted her to be my girlfriend, but I didn’t know how to say it. I had never heard of the concept of a girl loving another girl romantically. Looking back, I realise I always knew who I was, but I could only vocalize it after finishing high school. I eventually told her how I felt. Unfortunately for me, while I was fully invested emotionally, she saw it as just teenage experimentation and fun. She broke my heart. I got over it eventually, and we’re friends again today, even though we live on different continents now.

Were you free to express your sexuality or gender when growing up?

No, I wasn’t free. Patriarchy still dominates [in Zimbabwe]. There are strict expectations around how “women” and “men” should dress, behave, and express themselves. If you step outside these norms and gender binaries, you are ridiculed and judged, making life incredibly difficult. You’re forced to conform to what makes others comfortable, even if it means compromising your own identity.

I remember one day, a soldier in uniform, carrying a large firearm, told me to let go of my girlfriend’s hand or he would cut off both of our hands. Many others in Zimbabwe share the same feelings. We were so terrified that we let go of each other and quickly left the area. Being different is not embraced in Zimbabwe. Even in 2024, things like tattoos or piercings are still seen as unacceptable or “bad.”

Coming out a second time was almost as difficult as the first. The difference was that the second time around, there was no one left to disown me.”

How did you identify when you were in Zimbabwe?

For a long time, I identified as a masculine lesbian, but I always felt that my sexuality wasn’t the full picture—there was more to it. Once again, the issue was language. When I eventually discovered GALZ [a leading LGBTIQ organisation in Zimbabwe] and connected with Zimbabwe’s queer and trans community, I started learning new terms. Over the years, I’ve identified with almost every letter in the LGBTQI+ acronym, but now I know that I am a pansexual transgender man.

What were the circumstances of your coming to South Africa?

I had to flee Zimbabwe due to issues related to my sexuality. After moving to South Africa, I finally came across the term “transgender.” I watched a character on a TV show go through a transition, and as he explained his feelings to his friends and started both socially and medically transitioning, I could relate deeply. I had finally found the language I had been searching for all those years.

How did your life change after that?

Coming out a second time was almost as difficult as the first. The difference was that the second time around, there was no one left to disown me. Since 2015, i have been living as my true and authentic self. I have not looked back. As a lesbian woman, I was outed and disowned. But Thomars came out for himself. I was now fearless, independent, and genuinely happy. Although the social and medical transition wasn’t easy, embracing myself as a trans man brought me a deep sense of fulfilment and clarity.

When did you start working and advocating in the LGBTQI+ refugee space?

My own lived experiences motivated me, but I always had a passion for serving others. In 2016, my work really took off. At that time, my lack of legal status drove me to question the struggles faced by others who were even more disadvantaged in terms of access to support. My passion for helping others, combined with the frustration of not being able to find assistance, led to the creation of The Fruit Basket.

What has been the most significant achievement of the organisation?

For me, it’s creating a platform through The Fruit Basket where LGBTQI+ refugees can easily access support, with their needs at the forefront of our mission. Responding to community emergencies and filling critical gaps have been some of our proudest accomplishments. Our two safe houses, winning the UNHCR 2020 NGO Innovation Award for our work during COVID, and being nominated for the 2023 Further Award for Role Model of the Year are major milestones. We were also invited to participate in the Global Refugee Forum by the United Nations.

Transgender people are often the least visible and most marginalised group within the LGBTQI+ community, but that seems to be even more so for trans men.

I absolutely agree. Trans men tend to be overlooked in many conversations around gender diversity and rights. At The Fruit Basket, we are actively addressing this issue. We are currently working on a project specifically focused on advocating for the inclusion of trans men in various programs and services, ensuring their voices and needs are not sidelined. The goal is to make sure that trans men are represented and included in all relevant spaces—whether it’s in activism, policymaking, or community support—so that we can collectively address the unique struggles that come with being a trans man in a world that often overlooks us.

What’s kept you driven and motivated in your work?

I see my activism and work with The Fruit Basket as a calling. While the work can be exhausting, it’s incredibly rewarding. There’s nothing quite like seeing someone smile and knowing that I played a part in that. The occasional messages of gratitude I receive also give me the motivation to keep going. Many of the residents in our Safe Houses call me “Papa.” As someone who doesn’t have biological children, having this chosen family is really special. Being a guardian and father figure to them is deeply motivating, especially since many have been disowned by their own families. In a way, I’m helping fill those emotional gaps as well.

South Africa is seen as a symbol of hope in Africa by many LGBTQI+ refugees. Is that perception warranted?

South Africa boasts some of the most progressive laws for protecting LGBTQI+ individuals on the African continent and stands as a global contender in this regard. However, the reality on the ground tells a different story. There have been 16 LGBTQI+ murders across the country since January 2024. This raises serious questions about the safety of LGBTQI+ refugees, especially when local community members are not safe themselves.

What are the biggest challenges facing LGBTQI+ refuges in South Africa?

The lack of legal status, it severely limits their access to basic services and fundamental human rights. There is a pressing need for advocacy to protect LGBTQI+ refugees, as living without legal status exposes this community to a myriad of human rights violations and abuses daily. South Africa has the potential to become a safe haven for LGBTQI+ refugees, and coordinated efforts can help turn this vision into reality.

Do transgender refugees have more hurdles to deal with than other LGBTQI+ refugees?

While all members of the LGBTQI+ community face challenges, the unique experiences of transgender individuals can be particularly complex and multifaceted. Transgender refugees often navigate issues related to their gender identity while also contending with the trauma of displacement, legal uncertainties, and a lack of access to essential resources like healthcare and safe housing.

Offering protection to those in need is not only lawful but also an act of kindness and decency.”

What advice would you give to other LGBTQI+ Africans who are considering coming to South Africa as refugees?

I would advise them to manage their expectations, keep an open mind, and practice patience. The processes for obtaining legal status can be lengthy and often costly. While there may be numerous frustrations along the way, there are also significant rewards. There’s nothing quite like the freedom to be your true self and love who you love without the fear of arrest. When you make it here, please reach out to The Fruit Basket!

Is seeking refuge or asylum a human right?

Yes, it is a basic human right. When a person’s safety is threatened in their country or elsewhere, they should be protected. Offering protection to those in need is not only lawful but also an act of kindness and decency.

Tell us a about your life outside of activism.

I’m a fitness enthusiast and work out almost every day, which is great for my mental health. I also have a deep love for wildlife and wildlife photography, though it’s been a while since I’ve visited a game park. Taking care of and growing my beard brings me a lot of joy, as it really affirms my identity. And, I have a bit of a coffee obsession—especially with Jacobs. I’m in a relationship with a cisgender gay man who also happens to be masculine. We don’t have any defined roles in any part of our relationship—we’re just partners, navigating life together. We’re actually celebrating our one-year anniversary soon!

What challenge are you proudest at having overcome in your life?

Living as the gender I was assigned at birth was exhausting, and the internal struggles I faced can never be understood by others—especially those who knew me before my transition and who saw the illusion of happiness I projected. Coming out as a trans man, and finally living as the person I always knew myself to be, has given me a new lease on life. I’m more productive, more loving towards myself and others, and overall, a much more pleasant person. My family and I are also on good terms now. Everybody just needed their time to understand, and then come to terms, just like I had to.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

Abusing power isn’t just about using it for personal gain or to harm others, it’s also about not using the power you have when you should. When you fail to use your power, people suffer. For example, churches have power but are not speaking out against the xenophobia that they can clearly see. The best way to fight hate is with love, and who better to spread love than the church? Please use your power to help save our lives!

Find out more about The Fruit Basket here.

 

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This article was made possible with the support of the Other Foundation. The views expressed herein do not necessarily represent those of the Other Foundation. www.theotherfoundation.org.

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