Breaking! Gretha Wiid “apologises” – speaks about gay brother and homophobic book
Christian celebrity relationship guru Gretha Wiid has offered an apology of sorts while justifying her youth advice book that includes contentious views on homosexuality.
In a video posted on Facebook, Wiid said that she wanted to put the book, aimed at those between the ages of 10 and 13, into perspective; explaining that it was written and published in 2009.
An excerpt on the topic of homosexuality went viral this past week on social media, alarming many who believe that it offers inaccurate and dangerous information that could negatively affect young LGBT people and their families.
In the video, Wiid says that she has numerous qualifications in psychology and human sexuality, and that she has been presenting courses on these topics for 20 years.
She then reveals that the topic of homosexuality is actually very close to her heart because “my own brother is part of the homosexual community. My brother is gay and he has a long-time life partner. We are very close”.
Wiid insists that she’s not going to defend her book or herself, but wants to instead share part of her heart with viewers. She also claims that the excerpt on homosexuality was misunderstood.
With regard to her explanation of the word “moffie” (faggot) to the young readers, Wiid points out that she later urges them in the book to never use such a word, even in a joke.
She argues that she intended to explain stereotypes to children and calls on them not to tease or bully other kids who do not play rugby and rather play musical instruments.
“The fact is that I shared my opinion as a child of God. And your opinion might not be the same as mine. The word of God is open to interpretation. And we all have freedom of religion and freedom of speech and freedom of opinion.”
Wiid urges young people struggling with their sexuality to speak to someone because gay people are often rejected around the world… “and I don’t believe in my whole heart that this is Jesus’ plan”.
Wiid states that she will not apologise for her experience and knowledge included in the book, “but I can today say that if I have wronged you, as a parent or child in this situation, with my word choices or the way that I wrote, then for that I apologise.”
She adds: “I never said that gays are going to hell. Heaven and hell are not my domain or my area of discussion…”
Wiid, however, does not address two of the most controversial views in her book: that boys become gay because of an unloving father figure and that homosexuality can be corrected in young people if they “speak to someone about these things in time – before it is too late”.
LGBT activist and attorney Coenie Kukkuk was not impressed with the video and commented that “it is not an apology but a justification that offers her views on biblical grounds and not scientific grounds”. He added that “she preaches half of the 12 minutes”.
Kukkuk told Mambaonline that, crucially, Wiid did not address the belief that being gay is a choice. Nor did she agree to withdraw the book.
“She never once says that an enormous amount of research suggests that homosexuality is something we are born with. For me, nothing has changed.”
Kukkuk did acknowledge that Wiid is “at least addressing the issue and not running away, although her explanation is unsatisfactory. That is more than we can say about people like Angus Buchan and Jon Qwelani.”
Wiid is a popular public speaker, lay preacher and relationship expert in the Afrikaans community and has been described as a female version of controversial preacher Angus Buchan.
In March last year, the World Psychiatric Association stated that trying to “cure” LGBT people, known as “conversion therapy”, doesn’t work and is both dangerous and unethical.
Although the South African Society of Psychiatrists has condemned conversion therapy, it remains legal and is practised in South Africa by some religious groups.
Watch Wiid’s apology video below and judge for yourself.
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This is no apology. Withdraw the book!
“Although Gretha Wiid and her husband Francois are marriage consultants, she is not qualified as a minister, marriage or sex therapist, advisor or consultant. She actually describes herself as a ‘finessekenner’, or finesse expert – whatever this might be (2009e). She earns her money from holding conferences and especially school talks and camps on sex counselling. During an interview with Freek Robinson on his radio programme Praat Saam [Talking Together] on RSG (09 September 2009), with Prof. Hansie Wolmarans, Gretha Wiid as guests, she claimed to have several MA degrees, but during an earlier interview with Elmari Craig, a qualified sexologist (Craig & Stander 2009), Wiid admitted that she has no professional qualification (cf. Swart-Walters 2010b:18–19). She claims that her sources of information are ‘informed people’, reading the Bible and what Jesus and God tell her. She claims she is on a god-sent mission and does not speak in her own right.” In her video of reply (there is no apology in it), she claims to have several qualifications. So what is the truth? We want to see those”qualifications”
Jy noem dit ‘n “apology “. Sorry, dit is nie goed genoeg nie. En DIT is my opinion.
I fail to see the apology. Her supposed justification is just making the matter worse! She should learn to shut up. Reading through a psychology book does mot make one qualified. If it did I’d have degrees in everything! There is no preventing a child being gay just as there is no prevention for Wiid being a self absorbed bigot. She knows not what she speaks of!
Pathetic response from an ignorant Christian. I don’t care if she said anything about gay people going to heaven or hell since I don’t belive in her religion. I do belive in good and bad and this woman is writing about things her small mind can not comprehend while blinded by her faith. She is spewing nonsense and creating hurt for many young gay kids struggling with their sexuality. I am sick and tired of a hate, ignorance, racism, sexism etc being excused due to people religious beliefs.
Gretha,ek kan baie sê, maarek gaan volstaan by die volgende : Ek glo jy is deur God geroep en ek sien jou kosbare bediening. Verder glo ek dat jy baie beradingskennis het en sien ook jou hart. Ek glo ten laaste, dat jy hierdie veld moet gaan bestudeer – werklike bestudering fisiologies (vir die oorsaak) en psigologies (vir die gebrek aan oorsaak). Hoekom? Vanwee die seer waartoe jy bydra. Sênou jys verkeerd ?
(en het dan sodoende ‘n werklike aandeel aan baie onnodige seer, wroeging en ook selfmoorde….)
Die saak is eenvoudig té belangrik om net opinies te gee. Bemagtig jouself met mediese en psigologiese FEITE
I don’t accept your apology lady not that you actually gave one. The fact I hat your own brother is gay makes this even more tragic. How sad you must make his life. Hide behind your religion and your evil but the damage is done.
Boikot Greta Wiida and her lodge La Wiida juwel of the valley #BoikotWiida #WiidaMustFall
Outrageous. That is no apology at all. She should be ashamed of herself. Telling young teenagers that she disagrees that people are born gay – is not really encouraging young people to become their authentic selves. I ended up coming out in my early 40s because bigots like Wiid made people like me scared and fearful. I am way beyond that now: happy, free and at peace – but no thanks to troubled people like her. What fascinates me is how people like her are obsessed with the Bible and homosexuality. The book of Leviticus which damns homesexuality (calling it an abomination) also calls eating shellfish and touchingthe skin of a pig an abomination. So, if Wiid has, ever in her life, eaten a prawn or playined with a pig skin ball – she will be burning in hell with us gays. He apology is an insult to her brother – if anything the book tells her brother how she really feels about his sexual orientation. I wonder if they had an abusive dad? How else could you explain a moffie brother? What a silly, stupid and dangerous woman.
African Human Rights Coalition which wrote the letter demanding her apology does not see this as an apology at all. We see this as her doubling down on her BS!
We had two funerals this weekend, both homophobic murder victims. Perhaps she should speak to the families of these people, who were murdered over the past few years:
Moses Rakoma, kidnapped, raped and tortured.
Thapelo Makutle, murdered.
Phumeza Nkolonzi, shot in front of her family.
Andritha Morifi, murdered.
Neil Daniels, shot dead.
Sanna Supa, shot dead.
Vuyisa Dayisi, murdered.
Zoliswa Nkonyana, murdered.
Madoe Mafubedu, raped and murdered.
Salome Masoa, raped, tortured and murdered.
Thokozane Qwabe, stoned and murdered.
Eudy Simelane, raped, stabbed and murdered.
Khanysiwa Hani, stabbed to death.
Sibongile Mphelo, raped and mutilated.
Millicent Gaika – raped and strangled 2010- Gugulethu
Noxolo Nogwaza- 2011- raped, stoned & murdered – Kwa Thema Joburg
Sizakele Sigasa & Salome Masooa- raped, shot and murdered- 2007- Soweto
Nokuthula Ncube – raped – Soweto
Duduzile Zozo – 2013- Thokoza, Joburg- raped and murdered
Girly “ S’gelane” Nkosi- 2009- Kwa thema- raped and murdered
Zandile Mpanza- house burned, stripped- 2007
Nwabisa Ngcukana- 2008 Joburg- raped
Dec 10 2010_ Ncumisa Mzamelo murdered Natal
Jan 12 2016- Motshidisi Pascalina murdered Vaal
David Olyne- murdered Ceres March 2014
Disepo Gift Makau- Ventersdorp – murdered 2014
Phoebe Titus- murdered Wolsley Dec 2015
Noluvo Swelindawo – murdered Dec 2016 Kayelitsha
Gino Jonkers- June 2016-murdered
Lesley Makousa- strangled to death Potchefstroom 2016
Cousin of Gift-raped at gunpoint- September 2016- Ventersdorp
Hate crime activist-lesbian- beaten with cricket bats- January 2017- Pretoria
April 3rd 2017- Nonki Smous murdered Bloemfontein
Enrico “Tamara” Van Der Merwe- murdered April 2017 Western Cape
Bobby Motlatla- murdered March 2017 – University of the North West in Potchefstroom
Lesbian activist in Potch-raped and stabbed- April 2017-04-25
Nonkie Smous- April 2017- murdered, set alight- Free State
Lebogang Moremi- transman- murdered- May 2017- Pretoria
Nothing Christian-like at all
Gretha..sit down and shut your pie hole! I thank God I am not your Gay “anything”! The shame would be the end of me!!
Is there any way to get in touch with Coenie Kukkuk to find out how we can fight this?
coenie@gayspeak.co.za
Eerstens , Gretha Wiid , wil ek se dat dit eerbaar en noemenswaardig is dat jy wel die moeite gedoen het om die saak in die openbaar aan te spreek. Hoed af vir jou ! Dat jy in jou eie video erken dat die boek gerig is op kinders tussen 10 en 13 jaar oud , is angswekkend. Kinders in die spesifieke ouderdomsgroep en stadium van ontwikkeling is eerstens baie vatbaar en beinvloedbaar deur opinies van ” kenners ” , en tweedens lees hulle met meer verwarrende denke as die meeste volwassenes . Wat jou boekie suggereer is dat homoseksualiteit n afwyking is , n soort ” siekte ” wat behandelbaar is , wat verkeerd is in die oe van God , en met Genade , gebed en behandeling ” reggestel ” kan word. Ek is n ou man wat n verskriklike pad geloop het om net myself te aanvaar , wat nog te se aanvaarding en liefde van die samelewing te verwag. Ek kom uit n era waar ons in hegtenis geneem is omdat twee mans los met mekaar gedans het. Ons is soos kriminele in n vangwa gegooi en moes ontklee in polisieselle om die polisie te vermaak. Ons was met elektriese skokke ” behandel ” vir ” genesing “. Dink jy seksualiteit is n keuse ? Dink jy ek wou nie n lang kerstafel gehad het met my kinders en kleinkinders om my nie ? Dink jy ek wou nooit hand-aan-hand op n strand loop met my geliefde nie ? Dink jy ek wou nooit op n Valentyns-aand in n deftige restaurant gaan eet het met my geliefde nie ? Laat ek jou inlig , dis nie n maklike lewe nie , en iemand , maar niemand staan een mooi dag op en dink : ” Aaaaaah , dit lyk lekker om gay te wees , so nou gaan ek gay wees ” nie ! Enige iemand wat dink dis n keuse moet regtig stapelgek wees. Ek is gay , nie verstandelik vertraag nie. Ek sou bitter graag minder wou uitstaan en meer ” inpas “. Dit was my nie beskore. My siel jubel as ek mooi musiek hoor , as ek mooi tonele sien . Ek het op vier jaar geweet ek is anders as ander seuns ; Wanneer hulle duiwe geskiet het , het ek hulle mond-tot-mond asemhaling gegee , en hulle met eerbied gaan begrawe , dis nou te se as ek hulle nie vroegtydig kon verwilder nie. Die waarheid is , daar is niks verkeerd met my nie. Daar is niks om te behandel nie. Ek is nie siek of abnormaal nie. Ons kies nie om bruin oe of blonde hare te he nie , en ons kies ook nie om gay te wees nie. Gaan terug na die eerste Bybelvertalings en kyk hoeveel woorde is later doodeenvoudig met homoseksualiteit vervang. Gaan lees weer die Ou Testament , wat onder andere se dat as n kind ongehoorsaam is aan sy ouers moet hy gestenig word. Hoeveel kinders sou ons oorhe vandag ? Ek glo dat almal presies is waar hulle moet wees tov geestelike ontwikkeling , en ek respekteer die vlak waarop jy is. Respekteer asb myne. God het my volmaak geskape , net soos wat Hy bedoel het. Die God van liefde , maar ook die God van vergifnis en genade. Elke Sondag brabbel ons die ” Onse Vader ” af sonder om te dink……. ” Vergewe my my sonde soos ek ander vergewe …” Gretha Wiid , jy het nie om verskoning gevra nie , jy het jou boek regverdig , maar ek vergewe jou , want ek wil vergewe word vir my sondes , met dieselfde maatstaf. Ouderdom bring wysheid , en ek glo met tyd sal jy dit regstel.
Nasty and unforgiving statement to have made and now you offer a watered down apology please don’t bother we know just how insincere you are
Gay people don’t like to be patronised
Gretha jy is honderd present reg. Die mense is ‘n klomp papbroeke wat nie die waarheid kan hanteer nie. Gay seuns word baie name genoem – Moffie, riool boor, faggot, poefter etc. Dit is verskriklik en nie reg nie maar dit is die realiteit. Mense is verskriklik wreed en ongevoellig. Dit is tyd dat ons boeliery en afknourey in ons skole begin aanspreek. Ons jeug is ‘n klomp punks.
Do you call this an apology?
Wow! Ek het nie geweet van die vrou wat so van haarself praat nie. Dit klink meer sy is die spesiaalste mens dat God haar geroep het om ure lank net te praat en dan sommer ook se God se so en wil dit en dat he: “o ek is ongelooflik slim met baie grade, julle moet luister wat ek vir julle se”. Dit gaan bloot om n monopoly vir haarself te skep deur bekende woorde uit die Bybel te haal. Wel glo jy dat Jesus ons geleer het dat as jy oordeel dan sal jy veroordeel word en dat God die enigste reg het om te oordeel nadat jy dood is want dit behels Godelike Mag om n siel hemel of hel toe te stuur. Nou is dit dan reg of verkeerd dat Paulis (nes Gretha vandag doen) woorde in God se mond sit of “playing God” of as n mens oor ander mense oordeel wat dan nog nie dood is nie? Het hy dit fisies gedoen? Gaan jy dood en word deur hom gekeur voordat jy na n Straights-only hemel toe mag gaan. Gaan julle dan hemel toe om daar te gaan seks voor God of gaan jy eerder vir Hom loof en Prys? Dan laastens het ou stede soos Sodom en Gemora maar nie ook uit mense soos ons stede met almal hulle verskillende sondes bestaan nie? Glo jy in jou binneste dat dit n stad uit n triljoen gay mans was – is voortplanting ooit moontlik? En as God dan die hele Gay ras uitgewis het hoekom kom Gay nog voor? Gretha ek wil vir jou se probeer jy vir n dag Gay raak wat jy nie gaan reg kry nie so hoe kan jy verwag ander mense moet Straight-by-night word sodat dit jou of praat jy nou weer namens God? O en wil jy nie graag Gay wees nie? Nou dan wie wil? As jy so graag die een spesiale spreker wil wees hoekom is jy dan nie n profeet wat die Gay siekte kan genees nie? Regtig Gretha, hoe kan jy enige iets van Gay of weet as jy nie self een is nie?
Gretha as ek vir jou kan raad gee dan moet jy eerder n ander “day-job” kry sodat jy liewer jou hande kan besig hou want soos ons op die nuus gesien moet so n bek Doom kry!
Gretha ek kry dan nou gedagte dat jy die wereld rond order ’cause the Bybel tell’s me so – ek kry regtig glad nie daai teks vers of 11de gebod waar jy gese het ek mag in geen omstandighede aan myself raak nie? Ek sukkel daarmee dat ek nie anders geskape of gevorm is dat stort en toiletgeriwe jou “hands-free” metode toelaat nie. Het dit nooit by jou opgekom hoekom ek wel daaraan kon vat maar ek mag nie? Hier kom jy dan met: “Ha-a, los uit – boetie moenie vat nie, dit gaan afval!” -wonderbaarlike reeks boek teorie. En, het jy dan nie nou verskriklike sondes gepleeg nie? Ek verstaan jy leef dan so in die Bybelse tyd. Hoe kon jy gaan boeke skryf en dit nog publiseer? Is die Bybelse tyd het en mag geen vrou waag om n boek te skryf nie. Hulle mag nog nooit n woord opper in die Kerk nie. Jy kan nie nou kom om vergifnis vra en dan lees mense nog van jou nie, jy sal eers al daai boeke moet terugtrek om dan jou sondes te kan was. Onderdanig jou man en luister vir hom as hy jou vra om stil te bly en jy moet mos glo seker maak dat jy die meeste van jou tyd in die kombuis deurbring.
I personally think that in context with what she said she was wrong. As a gay person I have been victim of verbal attacks, or guys just wanting to be with you for experimental purposes.
The same Bible that says homosexuality is wrong also says that God knew the path you would lead when you where in your mother’s womb.
Tongues like swords, will always be there and ignorance can’t be paid off or discontinued.
I know that God protects me and loves me.
You may not judge. My dad gave me love and still does regardless of my sexuality.
Wat jy gese het is absoluut onaanvaarbaar. As ek kon kies om aangetrokke tot ‘n vrou te wees, sou ek, maar ek kan nie! Ja, jy het wel onverskong gevra, maar dit is nie genoeg nie. Ek voel dat jou boek verban moet word, want dit skep net negatiwiteit.