Africa’s first traditional gay marriage ends in divorce

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The famous April 2013 wedding

The famous April 2013 wedding

After much speculation, the marriage between the two men who famously tied the knot in a same-sex traditional African wedding has come to an end.

On Wednesday, Cameron Modisane confirmed in a heartbreaking Facebook post that it was with “great sadness and a heavy heart” that he had filed for divorce from his husband Thoba Sithole.

He also shared a copy of the divorce summons.

Modisane revealed he had not seen his husband since February and that the relationship had “irretrievably broken down and there is no reasonable prospect of the restoration of a normal marriage relationship between us.”

Modisane and Sithole tied the knot in April 2013, in a traditional wedding ceremony in front of 200 guests at the Stanger Siva Sungam community hall in KwaZulu-Natal.

They became a global media sensation, were interviewed by numerous local and international TV networks and were even mentioned by American comedian Chelsea Handler.

Their marriage was, however, regular fodder for the gossip mill, with Modisane denying in March that the relationship had ended.

Cameron Modisane and Thoba Sithole

Cameron Modisane and Thoba Sithole

Last year, the Sunday World claimed that he took out a protection order against Sithole following an alleged domestic abuse incident. There were also rumours that Modisane had fathered a child with a woman, which he denied.

In his Facebook post, Modisane stated that he does not believe that “all LGBTI marriages are doomed to end and fail but we should always celebrate people who take the brave step of getting married, living an honest and open life about their sexuality.”

The sad news reflects the reality that all unions, gay or straight, face challenges and difficulties and that some may well end in divorce.

Modisane and Sithole undeniably made a huge impact on the continent. Their wedding gave African same-sex couples a human face and helped open up discussion about homosexuality; showing that gay or straight, we are all entitled to love.

Below is Modisane’s full post.

BREAKING THE SILENCE ABOUT MY MARRIAGE

15 July 2015

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart to inform you that the internationally publicised marriage between me and Mr Thoba Sithole-Modisane has ceased to exist and we are no longer a going concern. I have since filed for divorce and released Mr Sithole-Modisane from his duties, responsibilities and privileges as my spouse.

The first divorce summons was issued on 25 February 2015, and I have not seen Mr Sithole-Modisane since 13 February 2015 and do not know his whereabouts. The marriage relationship has irretrievably broken down and there is no reasonable prospect of the restoration of a normal marriage relationship between us.

gay_african_traditional_wedding_couple_file_for_divorce_summonsI have my reasons for ending the marriage relationship which I will not discuss as they are of a personal nature. Because of those reasons I have lost my love, affection and respect for Mr Sithole-Modisane and decided that I will not be proceeding with the marriage relationship.

I would like to put this chapter of my life behind me and humbly request that EVERYONE refrain from sending me Facebook messages, DMs, e-mails, phone calls or WhatsApps messages enquiring about my past marriage as I refuse to entertain them. I would like to ask for the same compassion and privacy that you would give to anyone going through a similar situation.

I would like to thank my family, friends and everyone who has supported me throughout my relationship marriage over the past 2-3 years. I still strongly believe that marriage for homosexuals is important in the struggle against prejudice and hatred in our society. Personally, I will continue to champion the struggle for equality and rights of the LGBTI (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersexed) community. Section 9 (3) of South Africa’s Constitution expressly prohibits unfair discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation. The law of marriage is invoked both at moments of blissful creation and at times of sad cessation. There is nothing to suggest that same-sex couples are any less affected than are heterosexual ones by the emotional and material consequences of a rupture of their union.

Furthermore, I do not believe that all LGBTI marriages are doomed to end and fail but we should always celebrate people who take the brave step of getting married, living an honest and open life about their sexuality.

Lastly, I wish to thank Mr Thoba Sithole-Modisane for accepting my marriage proposal on 22 June 2012 and for the good times we spent together. I also wish him all the best with his life going forward and his future endeavours.

Thank you and God bless.

Kind Regards,

Mr T. C. Modisane

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