NO STRAIGHTS ALLOWED
The article Please keep out of gay bars and clubs was published in The Independent to my immense dismay (admittedly quite a while ago, but it did the rounds on Facebook recently).
The author very short-sightedly makes the case for segregation of nightlife on the basis of sexual orientation. Apparently the scene in England is such that gay people are restricted to so-called gay villages (a concept I could never really understand).
The author maintains that there are so few gay establishments out there that they should be somehow protected from the tyranny of the majority. In a constitutional democracy the minority is protected from the tyranny of the majority but in this instance the concept of segregation for the sake of preservation is taken way too far.
It becomes awfully reminiscent of apartheid. We are not equal in our segregation. The social segregation of the sexes by itself should be done away with, and there is no place for segregation on any basis when it comes to something as inconsequential as phuza-ing.
I remember distinctly the night after 2008 Joburg Pride. There was a trendy lesbian-only nightclub in Rosebank that made a concession especially for Joburg Pride. It would allow gay men in, that night only. So I went there with my (lesbian) friend, my brother and his girlfriend. As we got to the door an officious lady looked at me and my lesbian friend and said “you two can go in,” and with a slight tone of derision said to my brother “you two cannot go in, we are a lesbian establishment”.
I immediately interjected. I was horribly offended and equally embarrassed. The pink community complains of being discriminated against on a daily basis, of being side-lined. How can we perpetrate and perpetuate the same thing we fight against? I looked at the officious lady and said “look, it’s my brother and his girlfriend and they will not bother anyone here.” The words fell on deaf ears, I wasted my breath.
On another night my brother, one of his friends and I went to a well-known gay club in Centurion. The doorman immediately spotted the straights and gave them a self-righteous pep talk. I once again felt betrayed by the pink community establishments for their “admissions” policy. I often look at those Right of Admission Reserved signs while shaking my head. Those signs perpetuate inequity by virtue of their existence.
I bet your bottom dollar when a prime Sandton hotspot implements a new policy of straights-only there would be a very loud and very shrill outcry from the queers. Emails to pink rights activists would pour in. It is unfair discrimination and unconstitutional, most complainants would argue. Some might foam at the mouth, failing to see the hypocrisy.
Every single time a straight person is turned away from a “gay” establishment, every time a straight person is treated with contempt by the club mafia the pink community loses sympathy. We will scream “equal rights not special rights” till we are blue in the face but the plea would be worthless because we made it worthless with our little gay ghetto.
Do you agree? Should gay and lesbian venues be allowed to bar straight people from entering or is this unacceptable discrimination?
Bar straights from gay clubs and expect the inevitable backlash – fags can spot straights with our “straightdar”, but trust me we’re not blending in as well as we think. I’d rather let the odd gay-sympathetic person in here and there than have to be turned away at some “straight” club (whatever that is) because I look “too gay”.
Straight people more than welcome
On the button.
There is another dimension to it – and I have seen it happen many times in our clubs – it happened at the legendary clubs Steamers in Pretoria as well as Stardust and to a certain extent at Legends and at Therapy – as soon as a gay club becomes very popular, it gets overrun by straights. The straights become the majority very quickly, a lot of them are there for the first time, get drunk and start fights. The gay crowd then leaves and the club closes because it is not fun anymore. It is not so much just gays who leave – but the original crowd who made the club what it was and what made it popular, disappear and so does the club inevitably. It is a death knell for a gay club when the straights move in en masse. It should firmly be a gay safe haven for gays and it is very, very difficult to keep it that way – we just do not always have the numbers to keep these big clubs going ourselves and str8 patrons are also needed. The problems start when there are too many – and there is very little a club owner can do but to raise the ‘gay only’ or ‘accompanied by gay’ rule.
It is hard for gay and lesbians to have freedom in the public eye without being discriminated or attacked. The straight must respect the gay community and likewise. When they straight people want to walk on our territory then they need to be tolerant with the gay lifestyle and if they do cause trouble then they should be kicked out of the club.
Maybe what should happen- is gay clubs should have a membership card and if that person weather be straight or gay must adhere to the code of conduct and if they dont then they are banned and may no longer be part of that club. Maybe in this way the is better control.
Thank you Kobus, you are spot on!
Sorry…Cobus…..these glasses….and mind…*smiley*
How can we expect straight people to be more open towards us if we bar them from our establishments? Knowledge is power, and educating by means of experience is the best way to disprove the many stereotypes we face. Let them in, let them play on our playground, I can only see good coming from it.
There is another dimension to it – and I have seen it happen many times in our clubs – it happened at the legendary clubs Steamers in Pretoria as well as Stardust and to a certain extent at Legends and at Therapy – as soon as a gay club becomes very popular, it gets overrun by straights. The straights become the majority very quickly, a lot of them are there for the first time, get drunk and start fights. The gay crowd then leaves and the club closes because it is not fun anymore. It is not so much just gays who leave – but the original crowd who made the club what it was and what made it popular, disappear and so does the club inevitably. It is a death knell for a gay club when the straights move in en masse. It should firmly be a gay safe haven for gays and it is very, very difficult to keep it that way – we just do not always have the numbers to keep these big clubs going ourselves and str8 patrons are also needed. The problems start when there are too many – and there is very little a club owner can do but to raise the ‘gay only’ or ‘accompanied by gay’ rule.
It is hard for gay and lesbians to have freedom in the public eye without being discriminated or attacked. The straight must respect the gay community and likewise. When they straight people want to walk on our territory then they need to be tolerant with the gay lifestyle and if they do cause trouble then they should be kicked out of the club.
Maybe what should happen- is gay clubs should have a membership card and if that person weather be straight or gay must adhere to the code of conduct and if they dont then they are banned and may no longer be part of that club. Maybe in this way the is better control.
Be the change you wish to see in the world an eye for an eye making the whole world blind”
I remember the days when Savannah used to issue a “test” at the entrance to therapy… That way if straight people did make it in, they had to jump through a few hoops! I got no issues with that… makes for some entertainment!
Without balance it’s a slippery slope. Screening sure. Flat out rejection of heterosexuals__ no.
What happens if someone is still in the closet and trying to feel their way out? How can you prove that someone is heterosexual? Are we going to go back to the days of ‘oh he/she looks gay’ ?
I think gay clubs should just be clubs. Every club has a bouncer or three for misbehaving children.
We have no grounds to discriminate anymore than we should be discriminated against. How else will we educate people if we don’t let people explore?