LESBIAN WEDDING VENUE SNUB STORY GOES VIRAL
The Kilcairn farm wedding venue
Our story on the refusal of a Western Cape wedding venue to host gay and lesbian marriage ceremonies has taken on a somewhat disturbing life of its own.
On Wednesday, we recounted engaged couple Leanne Brown-Waterson and her partner Christelle’s experience of being rejected by the Kilcairn farm wedding venue in the Riebeek Valley, near Wellington.
The venue manager, Cara King, was told by the farm’s owner that he’s “not willing to host same-sex marriages” on the premises.
Since then, the article has since been shared hundreds of times on social media and the Facebook post alone has been viewed by 28,000 people.
It has also apparently inspired some to take matters into their own hands and to campaign against the Kilcairn venue; posting angry comments on the venue’s Facebook page and on Twitter. The response clearly overwhelmed Kilcairn and the pages have been taken down.
While the response has rightly highlighted the reality of everyday discrimination in South Africa, Brown-Waterson has contacted Mambaonline with concerns about the reaction to the story.
“People have completely lost focus of what the intention behind the article was,” Brown-Waterson said.
“The intention was to address and highlight the fact that people out there still have not changed their attitude and perceptions towards gay and lesbian couples when it comes to same sex marriages. And furthermore, to highlight the fact that discrimination in our democratic country is very real.”
She revealed that a number of parties she insists are innocent have been unfairly targeted, including caterers Two Food Fundies, who have provided their services at Kilcairn, and the venue manager Cara King.
“Two Food Fundies are a small stand-alone business that cater for wedding venues, corporates, once-of events and so on, while Cara rents the function venue from the owners of Kilcairn, and has to abide by the owners’ terms and conditions.
“Both parties are receiving hate mail, threats via correspondence and telephone, and are being asked to explain themselves to the public. Both are innocent parties, and being lambasted by the public in itself is a criminal act,” argued Brown-Waterson.
She added that, “Two Food Fundies are in fact the heroes in all of this as they stepped up after the owners of Kilcairn let us down. It was Two Food Fundies which found us another venue; they are catering for us at our wedding and they are assisting us with the décor. I can only sing their praises and the public need to know this.
“There are ways and means of dealing with issues, but sending hate mail is not one of them. The boundaries are being blurred, people have lost focus and all the publicity is having a negative effect on all innocent parties. All parties are losing business, all are in an emotional state, including us,” said Brown-Waterson.
Benitha Nel, the owner of Two Food Fundies, who is completely independent from Kilcairn, told Mambaonline that she has been inundated with hateful messages. “I couldn’t sleep last night,” she said. “I’ve worked so hard for three years to build my business and now it’s being destroyed.” She explained that she would never discriminate against gay and lesbian couples.
Mambaonline was also contacted by a concerned Cape Town based wedding planner who shares the same first name as Cara King. She said that she too has “been blasted by people” and received angry emails from those who assumed that she was the same person.
Brown-Waterson has urged anyone who has targeted these parties to offer an apology and post this on social media sites.
“These developments were not the intention of the article and had this been the case I would not have volunteered to divulge what happened. I am embarrassed and completely saddened by people’s choice of actions,” she added.
- Please read our follow-up article: LESBIAN WEDDING VENUE SNUB STORY GOES VIRAL
Did people read a different article than what I did? The article I read ONLY highlighted the bigotry and hatred of the owners of Kilcairn. From the article you could also read that Cara was apologetic in her email to the couple and that she was not at fault. And where did people get the info of Two Food Fundies because that I did not see. All my comments was solely directed at Kilcairn and Kilcairn ONLY! People must honestly get their ducks in a row before going on a witch hunt. I for one apologize on behalf of whoever that approached Cara (the wrong one and the right one) and Two Food Fundies. By the way, Two Food Fundies, thank you for what you have done and the word will be spread about you quickly! Come on people, fight for the cause but do it systematically and RIGHT! As for Kilcairn…..you should bow your heads in shame for your hatred and for allowing that contract ink to dry before cancelling on it, you hurt people!!!!!
Thank you for this follow up. I appreciate you clarifying that I was not the party involved.
I think no apologies are called for. The farm is at fault and they should receive all the flack the public can muster. The other service providers are not to blame for more than working with the venue. Your article made clear what the problem was, and rightly people have responded with anger. For years the gay community has fought for equal rights in this country and globally, and those rights have to be defended. Please do not call for apologies. Keep focussing on where the target is and keep guiding people there. Of course people can ask for a public explanation. A simple email explaining their position would do wonders for their PR. Show some balls.
I think this reaction only adds to the lgbt movement. Its unfotunate people were hurt in the crossfire but it serves as a lesson to the country not to underestimate or discriminate against us. This only serves to ensure that our rights will be upheld.
JoziTown Projects has blacklisted the venue Kilcairn Farm in the Riebeek Valley, near Wellington.
A couple booked the venue and then were told a few days after they had signed the contract, that the owner would not have them because they are a lesbian couple.
Refusing to provide services to someone on the basis of their sexual orientation is illegal in South Africa under both the Constitution and the Promotion of Equality and Prevention of Unfair Discrimination Act.
JoziTown Projects will never host a wedding or any other event at this venue, if a client chooses to have their event there, we will not be involved.
We encourage all South African’s to take a stand, this is shocking behaviour and we should not tolerate it.
Kilcairn well done gay couples make up less than 1% of our population and they want the most rights of all (sic)
sorry ,..pls check your facts,..its more about 8- 10% of the population(maybe mamba online or an NGO can help with numbers here?),..and even so..the issue here is upholding the constitution,. Not forcing anyone to accept 1% or gay peoples choices.
I am saddened by the too strong reaction so many people had about this story.
As much as I do not see any problem in peoples choices (religion, sexual orientations, …), I do not see either why some consider it right to force others to embrace their choices.
The owners of this venue have made a choice about a specific religious belief that clearly does not allow them to associate with same sex lifestyle, who on earth should try and force them to change and view things differently?
They are so many other venues for weddings; why make a problem about having been refused the use of this particular venue?
On new24, I read so many comments of people comparing this sexual orientation based decision with decisions to associate with people based on race or gender.
My view is that these are two different things: No one chooses their race or gender. I choose to be gay (lesbian) or straight; I choose to be muslim or christian, or atheist… So, there cannot just be any justification to take decisions based on race or gender, because that would just be unfair since no one ever chose to be born black, white, chinese, or female or male. Also no one should be discriminated against because of their sexual choices or religion. Yet choices to associate with somebody does not necessarily imply discrimination, as long as the other person has also the freedom to choose.
If I choose to be gay, I have the obligation to accept (as much as I except others to accept my choice of being gay) others to be straight. and if some of those who chose to be christians or muslims believe they should not associate with gay people, who am to try and force them otherwise? Everyone’s right stops where their neighbour’s right begins. No one’s rights are bigger than their neighbour’s.
Great points,..but here again it refers to what the constitution says,..protecting everyones rights. And pls pls pls people do not choose to be gay. People are born gay! just as you cannot refuse to serve a muslim,christian or jew(which is a choice or people are born into such faiths) ,such as you cannot refuse service to a specific race.
“Everyone’s right stops where their neighbour’s right begins. No one’s rights are bigger than their neighbour’s” ,..that’s a truth many cannot live by and has been applied here. businesses private or otherwise cannot discriminate based on geneder,religion,sexuality and race. That’s all that has happened here.
I have a lot of gay and lesbian friends, some are single and some are in relationships so hearing about these news makes it tough to swallow how the society discerns the LGBT community. I understand that some find the whole idea still taboo but we need to accept the reality that the world is constantly changing and living and practicing old views don’t make us better people.
Lessons to be learnt from all this,..the community needs to stop the same gang up mentality that homophobes do when they decide on a witch hunt. 2. To businesses that have been mentioned(I did read a post on the two food fundies and Melissa van Zyl link,..where a commentator suggested attacking these two businesses as they are tied/owned by the farm,.. I for one know Melissa personally and she has been involved and supported with pride in Cape Town several times ).. should stand up denounce and distance themselves from the said farm,..maybe by doing so the owners would get the picture.3. they signed a contract ,..that is a binding legal document,..what ever happened to compensation??? call them out get them to pay and donate heavily to a LGBTI cause,..maybe then they would learn,..or better still, let then do some community service in the LGBTI community or an NGO! 4. there is law and there is a constitution,. Get with it and don’t discriminate,. But the LGBTI community also needs not to turn to the tactics of its oppressors/homophobes and become the lynch mob.